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So with that in mind, I want you to answer some questions as honestly as you can. Sometimes when things go tits-up it is someone else’s fault.
So if these questions have you worried that you’re causing unnecessary drama in your relationships, let’s look at the things you can do to help prevent it.If you’re of emotional energy to be completely honest with ourselves or to assess ourselves objectively.We have a massive host of cognitive biases that color how we see the world and how we see ourselves, and it’s incredibly easy to justify ourselves to paint us in the most positive light.The details can be argued, nitpicked and otherwise derailing – what do you mean by X, why do you say Y when I did Z, etc.When you’re having an argument, ask yourself: what change are you hoping for?that we’re acting this way – we’re too stuck in our own heads and don’t see how the way we’re acting or responding is affecting the people that we care about.
Worse, it can be hard to admit that there’s even a problem, never mind that we’re the cause.
We all realize how much drama can sabotage an otherwise healthy relationship and why it’s so important to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in order to drama-proof our lives. Men especially tend to see themselves as drama-free zones; even among otherwise egalitarian and feminist men, there’s a tendency to equate “drama” with women.
But drama is gender agnostic; men are just as prone to creating unnecessary conflict as women… There’s a saying I’m fond of: if you encounter an asshole one day, you’ve met one asshole.
If you have a tendency to say the wrong thing or aren’t sure exactly distance if need be so you can organize your thoughts.
Tell them “I need a few minutes to figure out how to say this. That’s why it’s not your fault when things go wrong.
As a result: it’s pretty easy to end up blind to some of your own flaws or mistakes.