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07-Feb-2015 05:10 by 8 Comments

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I told him I felt bad that he was looking at the pictures; obviously I’m not what he was looking at.I told him I wasn’t like those girls, he told me he didn’t want me to be like those girls...

He’d sent things talking about how he was horny and was looking for phone (sex- I assumed),-he’d given his number out on a separate email, he’d tell them he had pictures of him he could send, he’d ask them if they had messengers and webcams, he’d let them know he did, he reminded girls of pictures they were suppose to take... This is over the period of our entire relationship (I could tell by the dates these emails were sent).

In these types of situations, it is common for people to offer quick solutions, but easy solutions typically don’t work long term (see once a cheater).

So, our best advice is probably the most difficult.

I told him I felt bad that he was looking at these women-but I felt even worse because I was the one who looked it up in his documents on his computer-I felt I invaded his privacy-I didn’t want to be one of those crazy girlfriends/fiancés.

He felt bad and said he’d delete everything, I told him no, I know guys do that kind of stuff, and I didn’t want him to because I invaded his privacy.

Eventually, he went and deleted all the pornography and included the pictures of that girl. I finally broke down, I knew his email password, and I know it’s wrong, but it didn’t stop me, I just needed to know if he was talking to anyone-more than just friends.

He said it was to put an end to everything and I should never doubt his love for me. Well, I continued to use his computer and I would check every once in awhile just to see if I’d find any new pics of any girls. I was searching for a site I had gone to before so I pulled down the bar where you can see past sites visited and ratemybody.com, adultfriendfinder and others were listed. I understand what these sites are and at first I just thought he was going to them just to look at the women. So I found emails from adultfriendfinder telling him he’s got new matches or so and so was contacting him.

I just don’t know how to handle this whole thing, I love him dearly and it hurts very badly...

He’s got so many good qualities and in my heart I feel as though he truly loves me, would never hurt me, but-I know I’ve babbled, I just wanted to make sure everything was clear. On one hand, your boyfriend has been turning to other women for sexual gratification—leaving you feeling hurt, betrayed and rejected.

And from your boyfriend’s perspective, on-line porn/chatting/sex can be very difficult to stop.

The experience can be extremely rewarding—exciting, stimulating and fun.

And the interactive nature of online chatting/sex adds a level of uncertainty and unpredictability that can be exhilarating for people who crave such stimulation (see why people cheat).

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